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Wednesday, 09 April 2008
100 Reasons Why I am a Genius - no, really...
In the strangest of strange places right now. I'm chiefly engaged in writing new features for Cult Fiction to make it an "all new, all singing, all dancing" kind of publication.
So far, I have a new bio of me which confesses to my ownership of The Dirty Club – a child sex club that isn't nearly as perverse as it sounds, or is possibly more perverse than it sounds, depending on your point of view – then I have the Will I Like DANNY? 'criminal profile' i.e. a Cosmo style (not) listing of Are you the 'typical' (there's no such thing) DANNY reader? Then we have the Read a Good Movie feature which is a list of the 'if you like X movie, you'll like DANNY' variety and, last of all – at least so far – a feature entitled Subverting the Genre, about how DANNY subverts just about any genre you care to name.
And that's as far as I've got.
It's a strange place because I'm doing something I've never really done before – I'm using me as my Perfect Reader. We've had so many misfires with DANNY publicity that we've decided to throw caution to the winds and model the perfect DANNY reader on my likes and dislikes, the places I'd go (IMDB & Amazon, pretty much), things I'd see and do.
The only real basis we have for this breathtaking strategy is our most 'successful' fans share a remarkable similarity of taste in 'fiction' to mine, and our most 'unsuccessful' fans have had preferences and tastes where I'd never venture in a million years, so we figure, walk towards me and away from them and we're heading in the right direction.
Hey, it's a plan – the best one we've had so far – so don't knock it.
We've been sitting on advertising campaigns for IMDB & Amazon for ages – too scared to spend the budgets in case we cock up, or they are not the right place – but we've got to let go some time and that would be now.
Or, at least, after the 4th of July when DANNY Volume 1, the Revised Edition, officially hits the US.
It will be available here too, by the way, should you want to read The Version With More Commas as I've come to think of it. Truthfully, it will be a slightly better edition: easier to read, more graphic cover, better design generally, plus, of course, it may have some of the original beginning reinstated.
Still not entirely sure on that. After all, I cut it out the first time – must have had a reason. Personally, I think I just got the Must-Have-Striking-Opening-Scene disease and went a little nuts when I was editing it. But we'll see.
So, what other news? Well, the free extract of Volume 3 is up and running finally. You can read this via the Secret Site portal on Danny-is God (you'll find the link down below). Unfortunately it still has bold type on the first page because Mr Scratchmann has been doing a load of commissions in the US (he recently placed an online portfolio on the i-Spot after deliberating on whether he should for a mere 10 years). He was immediately inundated with work, which was nice, but which came on top of a load of commissions in the UK.
Still, never complain about work – you never know when it will dry up again. I will, however, keep chivvying his ass about getting it fixed to make it a more comfortable reading experience.
I, for my part, have decided finally to put the DANNY Elite Discussion Board (not sure it is a discussion board, but can't think what else to call it at the moment) on a whole new site, which is at neither MySpace nor Livejournal but is, instead, on Blogger, a Google site. And here is The Dirty Club.
It has been named in memory of the above-mentioned child sex club which I, disappointingly – (once again, or not) – ran as a child, and which got me into no end of trouble. Now, as then, I am going public, but we will definitely not be indulging in any actual sex, just talking about sex and its ramifications as viewed through DANNY – and other academic-sounding and fun polemics, of course.
As you can see, you have to be a member to get in and we will set up a page on DANNY-is-God in due course to let you join up.
The very rigorous testing will involve truth drugs, eyeball scanning and an oath of allegiance to the Lithuanian flag, plus some indisputably filthy hazing rituals and the sacrifice of your first child or a small pet – whichever the phase of the moon proscribes.
More details of that once we've set up the painstaking entrance exam (and I've actually written some content).
So that's my excitement for the week.
God, what a sad life I have.
Been watching Heroes and enjoying it but, dear God, it really does have fanboy coming out its ass. It's as if they sat down and thought "How can we capture that huge fanboy market out there?" and wrote an identikit story where all the fanboys get to play a part and sad losers get to have the dreaded "special powers".
As I am enjoying it, I consider myself very lucky that I saw a few episodes when it was just starting to get famous here, on the strength of which I got the box set for my Xmas. If I'd come to it from the fame end, as it were, I'd have undoubtedly run away from it screaming.
On the face of it, it seems like a nightmare scenario: geeky kids; comic artists (nooooooooooooooooooh!); Japanese geeky kids in comics (nooooooooooooooooooh!); doughnut-eating-decent-policemen-with-nasty-friends-and-adulterous-wives; cheerleaders who spend the whole thing in split-front mega-short skirts, and who look like some terrifying cross between Shirley Temple and Amber Bosoms the Teenage Slut Porn Starlet from Texas whose web cam gets more hits than Youtube, and who may regularly get burnt/beaten/broken but who never loses the curl in her hair and whose lip gloss still shimmers in 1000 degree furnace fires; evil men who have huge art collections (why?); evil English men (I would say why again but we all know it's the accent) who chop vegetables; the Petrelli brother incestuous touchy-feely thing (oh, I'm the pot and it's the kettle); the evil über-villain who absorbs power to become über-villainous so that he can rule the world and reign supreme as The Evil One Who Feels "Special".
What? You might as well put The Evil One Whose Mother Preferred His Jock Brother.
See, that's what I mean, wall-to-wall geek. But, hey, it's good wall-to-wall geek, so more power to them. I suspect that the two Japanese boys, much as they are by far my favourite thing in the show, are raging racism of the worst kind, but what the hell – we're white, right? We can say anything.
So, the inexplicable title of this blog? I wrote a piece called 100 Reasons Why I am a Genius then decided I'd never publish it, but I so loved the title I thought I'd put it on here.
Got to give you something to wonder about me in your idle moments.
P.S. The child sex club mentioned in this blog DOES NOT exist, nor has it ever existed, anywhere, ever. It is A JOKE. Tasteless maybe, but still a joke. The Dirty Club™, is a discussion forum for readers of DANNY by Chancery Stone and has nothing to do with child sex, anywhere, ever. There is no such thing as child sex.
You can now read this blog at the following locations:-
To subscribe to this blog on Blogspirit (my base camp) without divulging your email address click on the Newsgator button on the left-hand sidebar (on the Blogspirit site) or simply post the following text into your RSS browser: http://www.poisonpixie.com/chanceryblogfeed.xml
Not yet discovered the wonder of The DANNY Quadrilogy? You can check out all the volumes in print now at Poison Pixie where you can read an extract of Volume 1 for FREE! Or start your collection on Amazon here where you can also buy a print sampler, entitled CULT Fiction, containing an introduction to the DANNY series and an excerpt from Volume 1, for only £2.99.
You can also see me in person on my YouTube site (as well as DANNY's various trailers and ads) here or you can see the same material on the Poison Pixie film site where you can also hear our Mr Scratchmann read his delightful comic verse in his podcasts.
Lastly, there is an independent DANNY Discussion Board run by fans, C Stone's DANNY where anyone is welcome to go along and chat about the book till their guts bust.
20:05 Posted in Blog , Books , Film , Leisure , Shopping , Web | Permalink | Email this
Comments
I have just read the most stupid, brain dead review of DANNY ever written, it was on amazon by a man called David Sutherland. I couldn't work out if he was taking the piss or not seeing as everything he said was the clear opposite of everything DANNY is (at one point he says it is terribly short). I may have missed the point that he is being sarcastic because nothing in the review makes sense. He claims that the book has too many adverbs, which to me is ridiculous. I've read so many books (some bestsellers, a collection of books I gave up on a long time ago) that seem to have been written with a thesaurus beside them, just to show how much cleverer the author is than their readers. They use words that there is no need to use just to show they know them, when they do nothing for the actual story.
Everything the reviewer says is nonsense, the fact that the characters are 'compelled to perpetually speak their honest minds about everything', I don't think there's more than a handful of times where the characters speak a hint of what they actually feel in the first book, and even if they were why would this be a failing. He also mentions an over use of comma's, but didn't all the idiots from the early fan site use to pick at the fact that there wasn't enough punctuation. I get the impression that it might be one of that pantheon as he also accuses the 'other reviewer' (me) of being you in disguise, and that is ringing a few bells.
I had to vent as reading that got me really angry, my friend had to leave my room as I was going a bit mental. It has appeased me a little to look at the other reviews he has written and the fact that he gave five stars to fantasy game books and battlestar galactica. I shouldn't lower myself to mentioning him at all but it helps to vent the spleen.
Posted by: Jodie | Friday, 11 April 2008
Don't worry, Jodie, Amazon has pulled the 'reviews' - and you know the troll people like to believe you're me in disguise. You should be flattered at how threatened they feel by you. I reckon it's something of a record that a fan club of one can be so intimidating. You must be doing something right.
Anyway, think how famous you're going to be some day as my alter ego. You can write articles for the National Enquirer - I WAS CHANCERY STONE'S BODY DOUBLE (FOR THE FBI)!!!
Or even CHANCERY STONE'S EVIL THOUGHTS WERE LODGED IN MY BRAIN!!!
I reckon you might be able to retire on that one.....
Posted by: Chancery Stone | Friday, 11 April 2008