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Friday, 19 January 2007
My Sista, the Ho'
The following e-mail correspondence between me and my brother is the sum total of my family's response to my 'outing' letters (see from Here There Be Tygers onwards).
The first 'answer' I received was from my brother, by telephone, on Friday the 12th of January. He left a message on my answering service to call him. This correspondence starts with my e-mail to him in answer to that call.
I have not answered his final e-mail.
Be warned - this is a long blog by necessity. I'd recommend you don't start reading it if you have a poor attention span.
I'm not sure if I will have anything further to say on this exercise in futility - at least in the immediate future - so I'm offering you this correspondence by way of closure. It has not been corrected, edited or censored and appears in its entirety.
MY FIRST E-MAIL TO ANDREW IN RESPONSE TO HIS PHONE CALL OF FRIDAY EVENING 12/1/06
Hi Andrew,
I got your message tonight. I'm afraid I don't want to talk at the moment.
I can't think of a polite way to say this so I'm just going to say it without beating around the bush. You are still emmeshed with your family. I know you are in regular contact with your mother and she told me that you also speak to/see your father (I'm assuming here that he's still alive - unless that's what you phoned to tell me?)
Given these circumstances I don't feel prepared to enter into any kind of dialogue, because the object here is for me to finish this, not keep it at one remove.
I appreciate that you may just have wanted to say your piece, good or bad. That's fine. Either way, whatever it is you want to say I'd rather you put it in writing to me.
You can write to me here at Poison Pixie with safety. It's only Max that sees these.
Please understand that although you may not intend it to be so you bring family baggage with you, in ways both visible and obvious and in ways both invisible and very subtle.
Bluntly put, I need to know what you want to say before I am prepared to listen to it.
All the best, Chancery
ANDREW'S RESPONSE E-MAIL TO ME 16/1/06 @ 6:38 AM
In no particular order.
I asked Isobel is she had been abused (I also said Hi! How have the last 25 years been for you, so I'm sure she was at ease)she couldn't remember anything like that happening. Not the conclusive proof I was expecting.
I got some clarification from my Mum about my recollections of her calling her dad a dirty old man - this version, she saw him in the back of a cinema with a prostitute.
I've been catching up with all my relatives, Robert, Joseph no recollections, connections with having abused you.
I'm a long way away from everybody and talking on the phone doesn't offer much insight.
You're right about my parents faults, if it wasn't for my own impressive list I'd be tempted to follow your lead.
One of the things I say to people, if asked, is that I'm not particularly interested in people spouting about their beliefs and principles unless there's been a cost involved in holding them. There's what you might hope you'd do, and that is pure fiction.
You're quite right i don't know you. But I did once, and loved the very bones of you in the useless, thoughtless way I've done most things in life, so my deal is as follows.
Tell me what happened, who with, how long, context, anything of substance. I appreciate you might not have clear memories. Be straight with me and write like you have in the email and then I'll ask the questions. If there is a case I can pursue then I'll pursue it.
This is not about me wanting to fight your battles, going to court, or helping you rebuild a broken life, or any other piece of fiction. I loved you and if someone, anyone, did things to you that they shouldn't have then I want to know.
One thing I would say, I lived with a girl who had been abused and when she finally got away from home she buried her memories and never thought for a second that anyone else could possibly be involved. She was amazed to find out later that her sisters were abused too and that, in all probability, he'd been abusing all of them from the off.
Andy
HIS SECOND E-MAIL SENT THAT SAME DAY AT 10: 04 PM
Just checking that this is the second email you've received from me. Acknowledge receipt or I'll have to phone, visit, etc...
MY REPLY SENT 17TH – FOLLOWING MORNING
Are you threatening me?
I'll answer you when I'm good and ready. And I'd like to point out that I don't owe you anything; neither details, explanations or to "Tell me what happened, who with, how long, context, anything of substance."
I suggest you drop the hectoring tone. You're not in the classroom now, and I'm not some cowed Henery bitch that you can herd up and pull into line.
Chancery
ANDREW'S REPLY LATER THAT SAME DAY
Why would you see it as a threat? And if I was threatening you - which I'm not - what difference would your tone make to me?
I'm merely trying to ascertain whether I'm dealing with:
Someone with a pathology rooted in a single extrapolated experience of abuse
A psychopath in the clinical sense. Robert D. Hare describes psychopaths as "intraspecies predators who use charm, manipulation, intimidation, and violence to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs. Lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they cold-bloodedly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret." "What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony."
The product of a group of psychopaths systematically abusing a child
Someone with narcissistic personality disorder who found a supportive partner. As Wikipedia put it - Though individuals with NPD are often ambitious and capable, the inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreements or criticism, along with lack of empathy, make it difficult for such individuals to work cooperatively with others or to maintain long-term professional achievements [9]. With narcissistic personality disorder, the person's perceived fantastic grandiosity, often coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically not commensurate with his or her real accomplishments.
The interpersonal relationships of patients with NPD are typically impaired due to the individual's lack of empathy, disregard for others, exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, and constant need for attention. They frequently select as mates, and engender in their children, "co-narcissism," which is a term coined to refer to a co-dependent personality style similar to co-alcoholism and co-dependency. Co-narcissists organize themselves around the needs of others. They feel responsible for others, accept blame readily, are eager to please, defer to other's opinions, and fear being considered selfish if they act assertively.
The irony of springing that letter and resultant psychological baggage on me, whilst wishing to guard your own privacy can't be lost on you. I don't think for a second that this is about me, but you should understan that If i get a sense that your accusations are founded I'll be kissing my family good bye. I will not replace them with you and be your new best friend.
If this is just self-promotion for Danny 2, I'll be talking to the police and commuinty mental health team. If I think you were abused and aren't going to pursue with the police, I will, unless I can think of a compelling reason not to.
Like most people I've taken a long time to develop a sense of self that I'm comfortable with. As frankel says, ' Everything can be taken from us except one thing - the freedom to choose our attitude in any set of circumstances.'
To return to the 2nd email. i don't email often on NTL and didn't know if the first one had gone through. You may have been dealing with these issues for a very ong time, but they're new to me and important.
Make of all this what you will.
just in passing, there's hardly a day that goes buy that some kid I work with doesn't call me a cunt, or worse, so don't feel you have to add any emphasis for my benefit.
MY ANSWER TO "WHY WOULD YOU SEE IT AS A THREAT" E-MAIL, STILL 17/1/06
"Why would you see it as a threat?"
Because it is one. When you are uncertain whether someone has received an e-mail you ask them if they have received your e-mail. You do not add the demand, " Acknowledge receipt or I'll have to phone, visit, etc... " Have to? Because someone is holding a gun to your head or what? And you'll find "please acknowledge" goes a long way towards your 'request' not being read as a demand.
"I'm merely trying to ascertain whether I'm dealing with: Someone with a pathology rooted in a single extrapolated experience of abuse" or "Someone with narcissistic personality disorder who found a supportive partner."
Really?
Challenging.
Perhaps you're dealing with someone who is neither psychopathic nor narcissistic. Perhaps you're dealing with someone who is telling you something you don't want to hear and demands for facts and figures, dates and times make you feel more comfortable. Must get everything back to the status quo, and must get there NOW. I must be made to do whatever suits you because you are feeling uncomfortable and that won't do.
If you want to go to the source of your discomfort try something really novel and ask your parents. If you're looking for answers as to why I am either a narcissist or a psychopath try Oliver James – much more reliable than Wikipedia. Unfortunately he'll tell you that, surprise, surprise, mad parents produce mad children and that, although I may indeed be either option A or option B, they still can't wriggle out of option C – whatever fuck-up I am, they did the fucking – not me.
"The irony of springing that letter and resultant psychological baggage on me, whilst wishing to guard your own privacy can't be lost on you."
The letter was sent to you so that you would not have anything 'sprung' on you. The apology for my part in your child-rearing was well overdue, a responsibility I had shirked for quite long enough. Your part in my letters to my parents is nil. Nevertheless, because I have a reasonable IQ, it seemed fair to assume you might get some fall-out from it – hence the letter, warning you in advance, as it were. Might I remind you that you had absolutely no need to read the letters to your parents and, had I chosen to do so, I could have kept them entirely private. I repeat, it's not your business and I don't owe you anything.
And what psychological baggage? It's their psychological baggage – not yours. And how, exactly, am I guarding my privacy? I wrote to you in the first instance, providing you with my address, thus giving you the right to reply. I also provided you with my e-mail address and gave you express permission to write to me. Perhaps you could elucidate how exactly this is unequal? Because you ought to be able to phone me up if you feel like it, demand answers from me, make me make everything right again, or provide concrete 'proof' that your pop-psychology taken from Wikipedia is right?
I repeat, I am not a Henery bitch prepared to leap and bark because an angry male feels his life has been disrupted. It is not my job to make you feel comfortable about what you have learned about your family. You must make sense of that any way you see fit, and if Wikipedia's niche insanity diagnosis is it, then you knock yourself out.
"I don't think for a second that this is about me, but you should understand that If i get a sense that your accusations are founded I'll be kissing my family good bye. I will not replace them with you and be your new best friend."
Really? And yet you are behaving as if you do think this is about you. What's more you are also trying to make me realise that you will hold me responsible should you be forced to "kiss your family goodbye." What you do with your family is your responsibility, not mine. If you stayed with it, it would not be my fault, and if you left it, it would not be my fault. Sounds like the old gun to the head problem again. And I'm not sure what the "new best friend" thing is about. Do you think this is a demand for some kind of loyalty? I'm not naïve, I appreciate that any decision on your part inevitably 'takes sides'. But, short of calling me a liar, which you've neatly avoided by calling me insane instead (so much more polite than calling me a liar, inferring as it does that I can't help myself) I really don't care what you do.
If you had written back to me and said, "Can't believe it. Too much to take. Going on with my life as before. Sorry, but thanks for the warning and apology." I might not exactly have admired you for it but I'd have understood. Instead I get demands for authentication (after forty years?) and the stunning, sheer unbelievabilty that you phoned Isobel and Joseph and Robert who, shock, horror, denied it, so I had to give you what they wouldn't. Proof.
If you want to hear 'proof' I suggest you read the following blogs on my blog site. These started coming out when I had to go for dentistry (the last in a long list of dental problems).
As you seem to have very little knowledge of how childhood abuse memories are first lost then, occasionally, retrieved, these will give you both an idea of how realistic a goal 'proof' is and some of the scant details I can actually provide.
I can, of course, give you more hard evidence that your mother (and Isobel) seem to have both conveniently forgotten. I suppose in my narcissistic state, or during one of my psychotic episodes, I completely imagined my grandmother once turning up at Lindores Drive in the middle of the day, in tears, talking about my grandfather being caught and the two little girls and the threats to call the police? And Isobel appears to have 'forgotten' all her precocious sexual knowledge, her nickname of 'dirty old bastard' for my grandfather (perhaps she, too, saw him in a cinema with a prostitute when she was eight). Indeed, you seem to have forgotten telling me at Crosby about your girlfriend (Caroline?) having a conversation with Mum where she, and I quote you, "confessed as much to her" (that she had been abused herself) when Caroline had been talking about her own abuse.
I could go on all day, providing you with all the little glimpses, snatched pieces of conversation, avoided topics, but perhaps you'd rather hear about how your Dad's father, in his eighties, used to stare at my pubic hair through my nightdress when I was changing for bed behind the sofa, until it got so noticeable I was made to change upstairs – and made to feel ashamed and dirty for his filthy habits?
Is that the kind of details you'd like? Shall I relive it all so you can export some more of your stress using the old Henery stand-by of "You must be mad, you"?
The blogs are as follows, you'll find them in the archive for 2006 (box in the right hand side bar). If you intend to read them you should read them in the order given here and start from Warning wounded and dangerous:
16/6/06 – "Warning Wounded and Dangerous" – about dental experiences and some abuse connections.
20/6/06 – "I owe my life to a bad-fitting plug" – various abuse including Dad's predilection for beating women about the breasts and genitals
22/6/06 "Forget the crusts it's the worms" – general stuff, Mum and her theories on my inferiority
29/6/06 – "Got yourself a crying, talking, living fucking doll" – Isobel
21/7/06 – "The one in which the messianic complex gets completely out of hand" – no abuse, as such, but it's relevant. Talks about 'proof'. Something you should understand.
23/7/06 – "Walk across my swimming pool" – more self-doubt about proof. You should find this one even more interesting. Makes a good case for all us mentally unstable liars.
28/7/06 – "Misty, water-coloured? Barbra, give me a break" – this is your pay dirt. Enjoy it.
30/7/06 – "Give me a reason to love you" – second part of above.
That's about it. After that I had arrived at too uncomfortable a place and had to stop. I have not resumed since as I am still not comfortable with that place. Unfortunately, you never know whether you will resume again or not – and, frankly, who cares? The world certainly doesn't.
Lastly, yes, absolutely it is "just self-promotion for Danny 2" and you be sure and leave no stone unturned when you report me to the police and the "commuinty mental health team".
As for calling you a cunt, are we back in your classroom again? Are you going to explain to me it shows a lack of vocabulary?
Personally, I favour the right word for the right occasion. Perhaps you ought to spend more time worrying about how your parents earned that title than fearing for their mental health in hearing it.
Chancery
ANDREW THEN SENT THE FOLLOWING THREE E-MAILS IN REPLY, ALL THE SAME DAY
1st EMAIL - 9:40 PM
Couse it was a threat, but just because I won't give up on this.
I do feel uncomfortable and, surprisingly, I don't know exactly what to do.
You were honest enough to tell me you don't know me. Quite right, you don't. Not pertinent.
I did ask my parents, I just didn't know what questions to ask.
You don't owe me an apology you were a lovely sister and I have great memories.
Any obligation you felt to be a parent was yours not mine. I appreciate it.
You don't owe me anything.
I'm not angry.
I'm happy to take responsibility for my own decisions.
You can't ask for loyalty, but I can give it. That's my choice. I free you of all assumed obligation. Reject/accept as you see fit - not a problem.
I'm cool with calling you a liar, if that's what I ultimately decide.
Episodic/oblique memories of abuse - check.
'The old Henery stand-by...' I'm just me. It took a long time to get comfortable with that. That lack of expectation and other romanticised notions you talked about in your letter aren't that positive.
A small factual point, I think you stopped talking to me. If I mis-heard that was a major fuck-up on my part.
were you actually cutting me some slack in that last sentence?
I don't pay much attention to people banging on about their beliefs and principles unless there's been a cost involved in holding them. Based on my recollections of our family and how I've reconciled myself to their and my flaws
2ND EMAIL 9:42 PM
I'm going to read the blogs now.
3rd EMAIL 11PM
I've just read the blogs. No erection or excitement just stomach cramps. I'm now freefalling. Will take compassionate leave from work and fly to Scotland. I'm very good at reading people and asking questions.
Take care
MY REPLY THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Just a quick note regarding your proposed trip to Scotland. I want you to understand very clearly that I am not prepared to see you on this trip, or any other.
I am not prepared to meet anywhere in person to discuss anything.
All discussion on this matter must be done in writing.
I'm not sure what you think you will achieve with this. I can't imagine people who have been in denial for forty years are going to suddenly crack because they are faced with some sort of self-appointed Angel of the Lord on a fact-finding mission.
You seem to be hell-bent on turning something which is irretrievably stuck in a grey zone into black and white. You are placing all your 'happiness' on one of two options: - me being mentally ill or them being social stereotype 'evil monsters'.
There is no proof and, short of a confession, there isn't ever going to be any proof.
If you think you can somehow worm a confession out of them then you are seriously barking up the wrong tree. Think this through for two minutes. Supposing I've put the wrong complexion on the events from my childhood. Suppose 'all' that happened to me was Dad beat me up because his marriage to Mum was rocky. Suppose then that the 'steps' episode I describe in the blog was just Dad exporting some stress onto me because he was mad at something else and my brain has just tried to make sense of it and come up with some garbled, half-baked sex abuse nonsense.
Okay, suppose now you 'confront' him with this. Is he going to say, "No, of course I never sexually abused your sister" (the 'truth' in our new scenario), "I only took her upstairs and thrashed her because I was mad at Jimmy Stewart for dropping a brick on my foot." Or "because your mother wasn't home". Or "because I caught her sitting on Mr Litterick's knee".
Even supposing there was no sexual abuse and I 'made it all up', he can't possibly tell you the 'truth'. Because the truth is that no matter what way you look at it, the 'truth' is unacceptable. Beating a child, terrorising a child - psychologically, emotionally or sexually - is wrong.
I am struck, reading your responses, that you never refer to the abuse in specifics, but I get the strongest feeling that all that concerns you is the sexual abuse. You phoned Isobel, Joseph, Robert - none of whom had anything to do with my long-term psychological and emotional abuse.
I know child sexual abuse is very fashionable. It provides that so very necessary social stereotype 'evil monster' - which you seem to think you can unearth by asking a few questions while using your X-ray vision. Why don't you take exception to everything else they did? Why is the sex abuse so important? Because it clearly delineates my father as a monster and my mother as an accomplice and you can let them go with a clear conscience?
You will never have a clear conscience in this because whatever you decide will have an infinite possibility to be wrong.
By all means attempt to use psychic powers to flush them out but, ultimately, you will be up against a decision based on very tenuous 'facts' indeed.
In closing I'd just like to repeat that no part of me is prepared to be interrogated, by you or anyone else, however prettily it may be disguised as 'truth' or fact-finding. If you wish to face down your relatives I wish you luck, but I will not be bullied, coerced or guilt-tripped into seeing any member of my family, including you.
Chancery
ANDREW'S FINAL E-MAIL REPLY 18/1/06
You really have me firmly placed in Midfield School for the Gifted, don't you. I'm sure you get the reference; the Larson cartoon with the kid pushing the door marked pull?
However, I admit to provoking you.
I'm not being clever, trying to be clever, or particularly thick.
My childhood was just that, my childhood. I don't remember, or partially remember, the same stuff as you.
In the intervening 20 – 40 years Mum will have gone through a process. She isn't the same person. Not better or worse, just not the same. Dad also. You've gone through/are going through yours.
Coming to terms with my family baggage was a different thing. I think it was difficult and painful for me at times. I really don't remember much of my childhood. I do know that my dad scared the shit out of me at times. It was interesting to read in one of your pieces that you wouldn't have pissed on him if he was burning. For many years that was my stock response. My mum is still as self-contained (generous, aren’t I?) and uncomfortable around people, but much less so in the last few years - she seems to have a strong group of women friends in her village. She liked the notion of grandchildren, but has no real interest in the reality - has visited once. We've been up to her about 3 times and it has been fine. It annoys Karon more than me. The kids are oblivious to it - they just assume, rightly, they're the centre of the world.
I chose to keep my parents in my life. Mostly because I’ve got so many flaws and have been a grade-A shit on too many occasions to count. My upbringing could have been better or worse. However, the chances of being sentient in the Universe are remote and I personally wouldn’t miss this ride for the world - any of it, good or bad. That works for me.
I don't think that the sexual abuse is the worst thing. I work in schools but don't teach, I just sit in classes and watch. I watch the ripples and tiny adjustments that follow interactions of all kinds. Life is tough, for some people really, really tough. I don’t have a problem with you not talking to me, or your parents, and if I ever do talk to them about you I defend your right to do what you please.
I'm not coming to visit you. I don't see myself as your knight in shining armour. I'm not a one-man truth and reconciliation committee.
I would rather none of this had happened, but I needed to know that there is no resolution to this for, you, them or me.
I’m not happy about that. In my own life I try not to do grey – I worship trudging on, making mistakes, telling yourself you won’t fuck up, fucking up, falling off, climbing back on. I go to bed some nights thinking I’m a shit dad and partner, go to sleep, wake up and get on with it. What’s the alternative? Crying for ‘me’ time?
Walking out on my kids? (Yeah, I know I’ve done that…). Nope. Like the ad says – Just Do It. Now join me in a rousing chorus of… I actually believe this! Schmaltz or what? I don’t care. I love life.
Thank you for taking the time to write to me. It’s a pisser that we ended up like this. I remember that photo of you coltish by the autobahn – what a beautiful sister. Take care.
Good bye.
Andrew
Not yet read DANNY? You can check it out now at Poison Pixie where you can read a BIG extract for Free! Or grab a copy on Amazon here.
Once you've bagged your masterpiece you can rub shoulders with DANNY's other rich and famous readers at Chancery Fans
There is also an independent Live Journal DANNY Discussion Board run by fans, C Stone's DANNY. If you would like to talk about the upcoming new volumes or find out why you should read Volume 1 (and you should) Jill & Jodie are experts, so please go along and badger them with questions and unreasonable demands for proof that it's worth reading before you part with your readies. I guarantee they will provide the most hardened literary cynics with a reason, or die trying.
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Comments
Your brother is so much more than you deserve. You are a moron who deserves all the unhappiness that you have in your life. I hope you eventually realize your mistakes when it is too late to do anything about it!
Chancery says: I know. I don't deserve you either and yet, here you are. Life's a bitch.
Posted by: danny | Sunday, 21 January 2007
Great comeback, CS.
"danny" sounds like the livid.lemur from South Carolina that I don't deserve.
I don't have any brothers, wish I did.
Chancery says: Ah, 'You don't deserve your brother' a new way.
Posted by: D.N. Matter | Monday, 22 January 2007
Your replies to your brother are very convincing: this *is* all just a publicity stunt.
Thanks for clearing that up!
Chancery says: If I told you it wasn't really Santa who left those presents would you cry?
Posted by: Vesper | Monday, 22 January 2007
Your brother is so much more than you deserve. You are a moron who deserves all the unhappiness that you have in your life. I hope you eventually realize your mistakes when it is too late to do anything about it!
OH DANNY, I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED YOU SO. IAWTC SO HARD.
HEH, HARD, GET IT?
...
CAN I RAPE YOU NOW OR AREN'T YOUR BROTHERS DONE YET?
Chancery says: It's bad form to repeat yourself, Marvin. Doing it again with added SHOUTING doesn't make it any more convincing.
Posted by: Henderson | Monday, 22 January 2007
You poeple are so rude. Just leave Chancery alone. Her book ais great and if you don't like it thats fine just dont read her blog. Other people love it and we don't like seeing these nasty commetns all the time.
Jill
Posted by: Jill | Monday, 22 January 2007
I completely agree Jill. Everyones entitled to their oppinions and it's okay if you're not an offisionardo of Danny but they should just leave Chancery alone.
Chancery, we are really looking forward to the next book. Any news on when it will be released?
Posted by: Jodie | Monday, 22 January 2007
Hi J & J, thanks for the continuing support - can't hear it enough at the moment.
I'll drop you an e-mail privately in the near future to let you know about Vol 2's progress.
Thanks again, Chancery
Posted by: The Notorious All-around Shithole Chancery Stone | Wednesday, 24 January 2007
Those comments aren't from 'Jill' and 'Jodie'.
:)
Chancery says: Just like this one isn't from "Impersonator", Marvin.
Posted by: Impersonator | Thursday, 25 January 2007
Chancery says: If I told you it wasn't really Santa who left those presents would you cry?
An admission that this all just attention whoring! That's more than I expected.
But using your family this way is a really shitty thing to do.
Chancery says: An admission that 'you just an idiot'! That's precisely what I expected.
But using my blog this way is a really desperate thing to do.
Posted by: Vesper | Thursday, 25 January 2007
I was hoping you'd post your family members' responses to your letters. I'm a little ashamed that it's beyond gruesomely fascinating, like the time I saw two legs poking out from under a crumpled car. All the same, I respect that you are a real person and your problems are very real, and I admire your choice to confront these problems after so many years.
postscript: why does caps-lock signify irony, you think? Also, why has no one pretended to be me? I feel neglected.
Posted by: jen | Thursday, 25 January 2007
Hello again Jen,
I wish I could believe caps-lock signifies irony. Unfortunately, I very much doubt if any of its regular users know what irony is.
Personally, I think it is just frustrated keyboard shouting used by people who think 'lol' promotes peer-bonding and that spraying canned drinks through your nose is the highest compliment you can give someone.
And never let it be said that I let any of my own be neglected. I believe I have impersonated you exceedingly well. Classy, with just the right blend of erudite, ironic sarcasm, no CAPS involved.
Posted by: The Notorious All-around Shithole Chancery Stone Pretending to be Jen | Thursday, 25 January 2007
WHO THE FUCK IS MARVIN?
AND YOU'RE DESPERATE TO SELL YOUR BOOK, THAT'S ALL.
Posted by: WOT? | Thursday, 25 January 2007
Hello WOT, (no Marvin?)
If you don't know who you are, Marvin, I'm afraid I can't help you.
But I am intrigued by your dogged conviction that my family 'outing' is a publicity stunt. From where I'm standing it's the worst publicity stunt ever, since the book you and my brother believe it is selling (small minds think alike, eh?) is not in print, not being advertised and not currently being discussed.
Perhaps I am selling imaginary copies to imaginary customers? (Is your imaginary friend with you now?)
Nevertheless you seem SO sure about this you've finally got us all worried here that we're missing something.
So please, do, share with us your excellent ideas on how to use my apology for a family to create advance sales for a book with no release date. Hell, it's not even edited yet, but never let it be said that I missed an opportunity.
Christ knows, my family are fuck all use for anything else.
Posted by: Chancery Stone - Imaginary Book Publicist | Thursday, 25 January 2007
Have wanted to reply for a while but been at uni and just got chance to, hi this is jodie-the post from jill and jodie was not written by me and my sister, dont understand why thats happened because i would have thought that if someone was going to pretend to be us they would have written something we wouldnt say. I wasnt going comment because i agreed with the sentiment anyway so thought whats the harm but i dont trust that this isnt going to get sneaky.
I thought id give my own views on the idiots on this site anyway, seen as it been done for me. Everyone who is just here to mock or derive should just piss off under the stone they crawled out from. I honestly have no idea why someone would want to read the letter above and the other letters and then either take the piss or say they dont believe it. No wonder everyone has to develop thicker skin to ward off the knives and bullets that are thrown at you for telling events in your life.
It doesnt make sense to me, if you read it and dont believe it why anounce it, if someone told you something terrible had happened to them in their past would you laugh and shout liar in their face, if you would you're knobs, but i guess the evidence for that is pretty conclusive anyway.
If you dont believe it or you dont like it or it scares you, fuck off and read the memoirs Beatrix Potter, or attend a holocaust denial meeting, becauyse things like this do happen and people do have to deal with it, becuase people who dont, end up in a dark room on their own calling everyone a liar.
Thanks
Cancery, look forward to the email, bring on book 2, and give them something new to wank over then cry about.
Posted by: jodie | Thursday, 25 January 2007
By the way, "girls", I am on Chancery's side. But Chancery does not believe me. She has a right to be leery of me with all sorts of trailer park trash posting here.
Chancery, I just read your last email. Sigh.
I'm going try to get you some of the dirt you want. Why? I'll tell you in my next email. Can't say too much here as you know they are watching.
~Hi, Girls!~
Cheers.
Does Not Matter
Posted by: Does Not Matter | Friday, 26 January 2007
Re: Trailer park trash - Wow, classist much? Poverty doesn't make someone a bad person.
After backreading various posts, it's not really a surprise that people don't believe Ms Stone. She did do some pretty stupid and nasty things. Her comments about lesbians were particularly revolting.
If all of this true, then please do see a professional. Posting all of this on the internet is not likely to help, particularly as it opens you up to mocking of something quite painful.
Peggy
P.S. That isn't my real email address. Something had to be entered into the field but I don't wish to be contacted.
Posted by: Peggy | Friday, 26 January 2007
WE ARE WATCHING YOU.
ALL THE TIME.
CAN WE BORROW DANNY? WE WANT TO HAVE A BIG ALIEN RAPE PARTY AND NOBODY ELSE'S ASSHOLE IS LOOSE ENOUGH.
- THE ALIENS.
Posted by: ALIENS | Friday, 26 January 2007
Well, fuck me, this is turning into a real 3-ring circus.
We've got people pretending to be other people then forgetting who they've pretended to be, and pretend people outing other pretend people, then pretend people pretending to be real people but not pretending to say anything new so that they sound like real people.
And the point of THAT one is anybody's guess.
Still, on the upside we now have Marvin pretending to be an irate lesbian called Peggy. That's worth the admission price alone.
And now THE ALIENS have arrived.
Excellent.
Okay, we know it's just Marvin in a tentacle hat playing on someone else's PC, doing his trademark SHOUTING, but he has his trailer trash reputation to maintain.
And I thought my brother's letters were like being on the Jerry Springer show.
Roll on the bleeped punch-up with bouncers...
Posted by: Chancery Stone - Imaginary Book Publicist | Friday, 26 January 2007
Dear Naive Peggy:
I was referring to the trailer park trash mentality. You can have a million $$ in the bank and still have the trailer park trash mindset.
I know for a fact that one of the jealous *girls* who watch this blog is TPT even though she makes big bucks.
~Hi Girls!~
Posted by: Does Not Matter | Friday, 26 January 2007
Jill, Jodie, Does Not Matter and Jen.
4! 4 Sockpuppets!
Ahahahaha!
Chancery says: The Count, THE ALIENS, Vespers, WOT?, Impersonator, Gaston, Gun, blah, blah, blah, blah.......
782! 782 Sockpuppets of Marvin!
Ahahahahahahahah!
Posted by: The Count | Saturday, 27 January 2007
Chancery, I have to come clean.
I really want to rape DANNY. Could you set it up for me?
Also, you're really moronic. You don't have to be from an oppressed group to be offended by homophobia.
~Hi Girls!~
Chancery says: Marvin, I don't know how to break this to you... but Danny is not a real person. Oh my God, HE'S your imaginary friend.
Posted by: Does Not Matter | Saturday, 27 January 2007
Oh please. It isn't obvious?
We were mocking 'Jill' and 'Jodie''s poor spelling and idiocy. By which we mean we were mocking you.
:)
P.S. I love telling your story to my students and colleagues. You provide a wonderful cautionary tale of what not to do if you want to get published!
Chancery says: You have imaginary students too? Goodness. And do they all go out with you in their pants and tights to fight other EVIL AUTHORS or is it just me?
Posted by: Impersonator | Saturday, 27 January 2007
Jezuz H. Christ, where are all these turd heads coming from? Then one of them has the balls to use my name?
More Mr. and Mrs. Scum Bag's abound!
I know for a fact it's not Mrs. Scum Bag because she is in... can't say it here. Ya know.
Posted by: The Real Does Not Matter | Saturday, 27 January 2007
I'm sorry I'm such a cunt.
D:
Chancery says: Too late for that, Becky.
Posted by: Becky | Monday, 29 January 2007
Oh hit us right where it hurts, our spelling skills, how shall we recover. We may not be able to spell but at least we use real language. Your grammar skills can't really be tested when you use words like IDGFTR blah blah fucking blah. Your spellings can't be judged because no one knows what the fuck you’re talking about, except the other brainless losers in your inner circle. Note that I am not referring to any particular member because you lot swap and change so much its hard to keep track, so its easier to respond to the general mish mash.
Also I thought I'd give a few tips for people who want to continue posting as me or Jill, keep the bad spelling thing going, up the shitty grammar, also be stupid and ignorant enough to express your own views on a subject instead of following the herd like your supposed to. Don't forget to not actually be yourself but strangely remain one of the only people on the board never to have posted under another identity and also foolishly use real words and argue valid points instead of what you should really do on the internet, which it talk bollocks.
And I may take it upon myself to start imitating one of you, I must remember to use invented language because I can' think of anything else to say, I'll pick up on the most irrelevant parts of a persons argument because I don't have one of my own and I will change my identity so much no one will care who I am anymore. What a plan.
PS Just in case you didn't recognize it, I was being sarcastalic.
Posted by: Jodie | Tuesday, 30 January 2007